Hi. My name is Beverly, and I use the nickname "Zpycer"
in chat rooms. I'm 51 years old, with a youthful twist so my friends say, and here's
my story so far:
I went back to graduate school in the School of Architecture at the University of Texas
when I was 47, to get my master's in Architectural Studies. By just before my 50th
birthday, I'd finished all my course work, and had researched, presented, and defended my
thesis to the faculty. All I had left to do was write it. In December of that
fall semester, 1997-98, I started not feeling very well, but just couldn't put my finger
on the problem. Hormones, maybe?? By March, I decided to go the doctor to see
what was up. There's a whole nightmare story about not being taken seriously around
this, but I'll skip it for now! It turned out that I was hypoglycemic, and they
suggested buy a book about it.
Meanwhile, one night while lying on my side, I felt this weird lump under my right
ribcage. I decided it must be digestive gas or something, and that it would move
along, and then didn't feel it again when I sort of half-tried to find it again.
About 3 weeks later, in my reading about low blood sugar, the literature said that
blood-sugar problems can be caused by many things, including tumors in the abdomen.
Remembering this weird lump, I felt again. And there it was. One thing led to
another (another weird story about not being taken seriously), and finally an ultrasound
(which I had to demand), showed a multifaceted cyst on my right kidney. I ended up
at the urologist's, and he told me flat out that I could wait a little while, or have my
kidney removed "NOW!!"
Apparently, this type of cystic tumor, called a nephroma, is often malignant...but even if
it were benign, it needed to come out, kidney and all, because of its location right in
the middle of the kidney. So in July 98 I had a nephrectomy to remove the
kidney. That was rather an ordeal, but it was benign!!! What a relief! I
got along just great, and was very excited to have this all behind me. and asked and
received permission from my surgeon to resume life, and go on a long-distance trip to
Europe to a photo conference. Well, the back becomes weak from the major
incision that has to heal after a nephrectomy...they cut through 5 muscles. It was
almost 6 months before I could do a sit up. I never thought about the atrophy
of muscle tissue around the spine because of this. The result: I picked up my
suitcase with some small amount of vigor getting it off the luggage carousel...and
herniated the disc at the sight of a 20 year-old injury, at C6-7. All I felt was a
tiny strange little pain under my left shoulder blade that wouldn't really go away, though
I was most aware of it at night.
A month later, the pain quite suddenly became unbearable and I developed radiculopathy in
my left arm and hand. I first thought I was having a heart attack. One
week later, after steroids and anti-inflammatories did nothing, I had an
"emergency" discectomy and fusion with iliac graft using a titanium screw.
The iliac incision was right under the kidney incision, and that combination traumatized
the sapphenous nerve which runs from the groin down the inside front of the
leg. That nerve went "out" (no extra pain...just didn't work) the
day I came home from the hospital, probably due to swelling too. Anyway, I could not
bear my full weight on that leg and so could not stand up straight for 6 weeks. From
the minute I woke up in the hospital, I felt like I was swallowing a marble, and at times
felt the rings of my trachea catching on the screw in my neck. To this day it still
bothers me, and in fact I had an MRI yesterday on my neck to see if we can figure out why
it is still bothering me so much. My fingers on my left hand are still numb, and
probably always will be, although it doesn't particularly affect me, and
I've just found that I ignore it.
The fusion in October 98 was 3 months to the day after the nephrectomy, and in January 99
I returned to school - still with my thesis ahead of me. I thought I'd be okay, but
I found that I went back to school way too soon, and was academically pretty worthless
that whole semester. I was doing all sorts of other projects, but I could just not find
the mental energy to do a super high-energy project like writing my thesis. In the
summer 99, I decided to work full time for the Architecture School, doing mostly writing,
to get myself really going again. That did the trick, and by July I was
feeling energetic, getting mentally on top of things (I called my malaise "anesthesia
brain" - which I think is a real phenomenon)...and I was walking 2 miles every day or
two, swimming almost every day at least 1/4-1/2 mile, and going to yoga class.
But in August, in the yoga class, I did the second part of a move that's a lot like a
jumping jack (not a real yoga move, by the way). From a wide stance of about 4 feet,
I hopped back to center. When I did this, my right knee collapsed to the inside,
snapping and severing with a sound like a carrot, the ACL (anterior cruciate) ligament in
my knee. Take note: this was ALSO THE SITE OF AN OLD INJURY. I had
fractured that knee when I was 15 in a skiing accident, and probably severed most of the
ligament then...but just finished it off that night in yoga class. I knew
immediately I was badly injured, because of the bizarre way it felt as it gave
way...whatever holds the knee in place to the side just wasn't there. Turns out I
also sprained the MCL ligament on the side of the knee. That knee is served by the
same nerve that went out after the back surgery...I wonder if that was what happened...a
weakness from the trauma to that nerve...or maybe my ligaments got brittle because of all
the medication? Anyway, I had to walk with a brace for a couple of weeks because my
knee would not hold, and bruised the bones several times when I was out of the brace at
home. I tried rehab/pt, and still do my exercises every day; occasionally a
person can get along without their ACL. But in my case, my knee is still quite
unstable four months later, and the only real answer to my problem is to have it
reconstructed in surgery, which I am scheduled to have December 15.
I sort of feel like a box of dominoes. Just push one and the rest topple, one after
the other. But I hope this will be the end soon of this odyssey that began two years
ago. Needless to say, I still haven't finished my thesis....I have written 40 pages,
and it was going really well, even after the knee injury...until I decided to have
surgery. I've been so busy researching and getting ready and freaking out too,
that I just haven't been able to concentrate as well as I need to, on writing. I've
found that
certain types of stress are incompatible with certain types of creativity...although I can
get really creative about researching my problem, for instance, or setting up my dayroom
or something like that! Or posting messages and making new friends on the
problem-related web sites!
It's interesting to note that I was really really brave about the kidney, although I was
scared to death. And I was really really stoic about the spinal fusion and all the
pain too. But the day I went to the doctor about my knee, I just fell apart right
there in his office and cried like a little kid. It's weird, cause of the three
things, the knee is absolutely minor, compared to the others. But it was the one
that got to me...as my friend said, I had a "stack attack." It's also
interesting how they are all
related somehow even though the three things are in entirely different parts of the
body. I really mean it when I joke that "the knee bone's connected to the neck
bone, and the neck bone's connected to the kidney bone!" And the other really
interesting thing, that we should all take note of, and all doctors should warn us about
after surgery...is to WATCH OUT FOR OLD INJURIES! I'd always heard an old wive's
tale about "old injuries will jump up and get you" after surgery. Well,
for me, that's been true twice. I hope there's nothing else.
I'm still terrified of anesthesia and surgery of any kind, which is human nature, I
guess. I'm hoping it's all going to go well with no complications. My friend
Zigy advised me to be sure to take a marker and
mark "yes" on my right knee, and "no" on my left knee before I leave
for the hospital. Good idea.
I don't know about everybody else, but I find health problems to be a real strain on one's
everyday relationships. It's hard for someone else to understand, unless they've
been through it. Basically, I'm just very grateful I've found the
"spinalfusion" folks...cause it's been wonderful to give and receive
support. We're all lucky to have the internet and this site.
Beverly has been kind enough to offer anyone interested to e-mail her..
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